Barney Miller Rain (1975–1982) Online

"Rain" has the entire precinct depressed, especially when custodian Beckman (Paul Lichtman, third of five), next seen in "Evacuation," reports that the roof could cave in at any time. Wojo comments that the only place in the building without running water is the bathroom! Yemana actually uses the water dripping from the ceiling to make coffee- Barney: "you're gonna use that water?" Yemana: "it's rain water, the best kind there is...some people wash their hair in it!" Barney: "it's just come through the ceiling, that moldy, termite-infested ceiling!" Yemana: "that filters out the impurities!" Harris has an opinion on Yemana's coffee- Harris: "tastes like a roof!" Yemana: "you want good coffee, get married!" Harris: "it's tasting better!" Joseph Perry (first of four) plays the building inspector, who insists the place is only settling- "it moves, it breathes, it expands, it contracts, sways back and forth in the wind!" Fish: "that's what killed the Edsel!" Sidney Miller plays a steadfastly unfunny comedian, whose night club audience reacted negatively to his monologue. The great Phil Leeds (first of seven) plays his agent, bartering with the club owner (Stanley Brock, first of nine, best remembered for seven appearances playing store owner Bruno Bender) over how the only way his client can pay for the damages is to stay employed at the club. Part of the ceiling actually collapses, Barney finally loses his temper, Fish and Chano putting it all in perspective- Fish: "you're just the first person to put it into screams!" Chano: "depression is a lot like a cold, one guy gets it, he starts passing it around!" We conclude with one of Yemana's classic exchanges: "what you gotta do is develop an Oriental philosophy- like my grandfather used to say, many things look bleak at the moment of occurrence...but at least we ain't got locusts!"